Every thing I share that is unhappy never gets received.
It just gets thrown back into my face, along with your shit.
And I'll suck it in, and clear your shit, and wipe you clean.
And we'll just be jolly and forget that I existed.
Non-existent.
Negligible.
One of a million little pieces.
I am nothing.
patience is so rare in you
disregard my intentions.
disregard my fears.
disregard my wants.
disregard my needs.
i need time, just as you need time.
but time is no more, so wake me up from this space
i wished i switched on and off
it would be so much easier on you
you expect me to try
you thank me for trying
well i hate that damned word 'try'
because you never have to try
there is no room for anger, indignance, ignorance and individualism
time is no more
there is no room for waiting
the damage done requires urgency
a selfish heart loves not
for it waits too long
for it does not give
for it does not try
don't thank me if it does not move you one bit
there is just no point
i cannot keep running after you, if you never ever see the need to turn back and hold me first, before running off together again.
These are no new words.
There are no new words.
I have said them all, and I have kept my faith in you, and in us.
So I say them again, I ask again, and I plead again.
And wait, and trust again.
-
There is so much to say
And so much not heard.
I want to be listened to
You hear?
And I want to be able to share
These honesty we always had
Didn't we?
How do I stay True
As you once called me by that name
If I begin to fear and hide?
And held my words back
And kept the tears from falling?
There is so much to say
And so much not heard.
I want to be listened to
You hear?
Let me be True, once more.
-
Rush to me as soon as you hear that I am breaking.
Hold me firmly. Cradle me by your breast.
Gently speak words that soothe my aching spirit.
Patiently wait for a smile to light up my face.
Please.
Protect me. Protect me please.
Put me in a little glass jar and gaze at me.
-
And so I plead,
Love me fiercely.
As I wish to love you.
When you hold me,
Embrace me.
Engulf me like the Wind.
Overwhelm me, lose control.
As a burning flame, consume me.
Reach for me with all your might.
That comes from your soul.
Driven by the love in your heart.
When I bite my tongue and hold my tears in
And watch you, watch you,
Waiting for you to lose the anger.
I lose everything. I shed everything.
And hold nothing back.
Hold nothing.
Pride, shame.
My fiery love in that burning ache,
Leaves me empty.
Then I know that I have
Given my all.
So then I plead,
Love me fiercely.
As I wish to love you.
-
"Be angry but do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and do not make room for the devil." - Eph 4:26-27
-
One day this anger will destroy us.
And it will still look like it was my responsibility.
Because I made you, angry.
