Monday, June 28, 2004
The Fairy needs to cry.And she doesn't want to cry alone.But there is only one person whom she can cry out her soul to and feel better.For no one else offers that unspoken comfort besides The One who knows all.No one else.Any other will not allow her to open her floodgates fully and would only leave her feeling half ready to face the morning again.
That one person besides The One who knows all-The Prince.
Even if he is the source of her hurt.The reason for her tears.Only with him can she find true comfort in someone less than The One who knows all.
And she looked for him today.Seeking the comfort that she needs.Wanting only to cry with the one who has promised to be a friend.And nothing more.But he couldn't be there.Physical tiredness was his reason.Emotional awkwardness probably what he feared.
And so the night is ending.And the Fairy did not cry.The tears just aren't falling.Though her heart aches with a yearning for release.
Leaving her not ready at all for tomorrow.
prancing to your tune
4:39 PM
The Prince seems sure.Reckon it is time to close this door to the story of the Prince and the Fairy.And stay,not behind the door,but at the front and only walk ahead.
Sounds like it is not much of a chore.Sounds.
But the Fairy is standing at a junction.The Prince has turned left.She could follow behind till she finds another turn.Or she could turn right or walk straight.Not knowing where any of the paths is going to lead her to.But turning left with the Prince ahead offers her a vision of something to look forward to.
Hope.Deception.
Any way she takes though,the Prince shall not be by her side anymore.That is for sure.And the only One who can be by her side is the One who knows all.
In faith,there has to be hope.
But hope alone is a disappointment.
So have faith in the Lord with hope,
For the One you trust in does not disappoint.
Today the Prince shared:
"The New is in the Old contained.And the Old in the New explained."
The Holy Book of the One who knows all is infinitely true.For despite the many authors of the books and the timespan over the writing of them-It speaks only of one Truth-The Sacrifice of the One who knows all.
Yet the Fairy saw the message that was not meant to be.The old in her will always stay with her,even in the new.And she can never comprehend the events of the old if she does not allow the new in her to be true.
But bringing in the new is so difficult.She is like the promised ones.Blind and reluctant.Hence bringing about their own death and condemnation.
Where does her future hold?
He doesn't want to talk about them anymore,for fear of bringing more hurt to the Fairy.Yet he asks.And asks.Of how she is doing.Knowing she is not fine.Yet seeking the reason still.
It pains her to see the ease in the Prince.And she wonders if it pains him to see the brokenness in her..
prancing to your tune
6:10 AM
Thursday, June 24, 2004
Longing.Longing for someone to shower her with affection.Longing for someone for her to shower her affection on.Longing for that one person she can do that to.Longing for the Prince.
No one else comes close.
prancing to your tune
3:56 PM
Monday, June 21, 2004
Love is the will to commit.
To say "I love my family and friends" is to commit all respect and honour for them.To commit all willingness to care and help at anytime.To commit all support you can give.To commit all loyalty.TO commit all trust in them that they'd be loyal.
To say "I love my boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife" is to commit all of the above.With a commitment of faithfulness.
To say "I love God" is to commit your life to Him-Honour,Respect,Willingness,Loyalty,Trust,Faithfullness.More.
I say I want to love God,but am I able to let go of my life.In full surrender to Him.
The Fairy wants to love the Prince.Committing with all faithfulness,depending only on all possible commitment to The One who knows all.A leap of faith,all so familiar.Why does it seem so strange to the Prince now?
Different beliefs,different perceptions.What are they without the willingness to let Truth change?They are nothing but stumbling blocks to human progress.
The One who knows all is far from fickle.
Then why the constant change of mind O Sweet Prince.If it is all led by Him.
Did you falter in your judgement?
I do not judge you,but only ask that you
Seek all the answers you have all over again.
If it is uncertainty in this love affair you have,
Then i can only pray for your trust.
Not in fallible me,but in the Constant One Who knows all.
Then why do you disinterest yourself from me?
Is it that easy for you?
Has it only been nothing more than companionship all these time?
Are we not soulmates as you say we were?
In your disinterest,you disregard all we shared.
Slapped away as nothing more than good times spent.
For all your beliefs drive you to make decisions,
That slaps its effects right in my face.
A change of heart is all i pray for you.
Or is your heart already changed...somebody else perhaps?
Will you trust Him with me?
/The little Fairy of the Pea
prancing to your tune
6:08 AM
Saturday, June 19, 2004
Butterfly
When you love someone so deeply
They become your life
It's easy to succumb
To overwhelming fears inside
Blindly I imagined
I could keep you under glass
Now I understand to hold you
I must open up my hands
And watch you rise
Spread your wings and prepare to fly
For you have become a butterfly
Oh, fly abandonedly into the sun
If you should return to me
We truly were meant to be
So spread your wings and fly
Butterfly
I have learned that beauty
Has to flourish in the light
Wild horses run unbridled
Or their spirit dies
You have given me the courage
To be all that I can
And I truly feel your heart
Will lead you back to me
When you're ready to land
I can't pretend these tears
Aren't overflowing steadily
I can't prevent this hurt
From almost overtaking me
But I will stand and say goodbye
For you'll never be mine
Until you know the way it feels to fly
Butterfly
prancing to your tune
6:00 AM
The Fairy cringes whenever she hears the Prince talk about the Cousin from his kingdom.Of course they are cousins by marriage and so is all right should they date.And of course it will be so much easier,having lived in the same kingdom,same practices,same perceptions of their belief.Never would the Prince face any objections like he would with the Fairy.Will the attraction between the Prince and his Cousin grow?She fears.Her braveless heart curls up with the idea.
Digging up her chest of Treasure,she found promises of the Prince from before.Promises not of eternity,but of the will to learn to love.
Who can ever measure up to the faithfulness of the One who knows all.Who is ever trustworthy enough to make promises.Who else should we trust but the One who knows all.
In that chest of treasure,she found also a tribute to the Dark Knight.Dated 27/02/03.Here goes:
How do we exactly define "US"
Neither lovers nor simply friends
I'd wish,sometimes,that we'd be given the chance
But will things change for the better then
And it's just a thought
Because it wouldn't happen right now(27/2/02,3:37am)
'Cause it cannot
And i'm not sure if i'd want it to
If you had made things clear then when we did have the chance
And if you had wanted me to wait
I may just have done so
But i didn't know what you wanted,what you were thinking,
More importantly,how you felt
Now that you know
Would you be smacking your head real hard?
For now i am sure of this
We're neither lovers nor simply friends
And today,she makes another one to him:
Moments,chances,
What people call fate
Timing
To all our moments and the moments to come
For the chances that we missed
And chances ahead,should there be
To fate,which i believe a little in
To our very bad timing
If it is to come
Our time will be
The Door behind us
Or before us
That Door will be closed eventually
/The little Fairy of the Pea
RockStarr,a rock star from a distant land,confessed his want to win the Fairy's heart.Knowing her distress,he only wants to be around for her.For now.And the Fairy hopes it stays that way.For her wings don't take her to him.Probably never also,knowing of the same road ahead that RockStarr has once treaded upon.
The Cider House nearby lives the man who enjoys his cuppa cider.Laidback is he.Jughead is what they call him(He only drinks by the jug you see).The first to be identified "Neither lovers nor simply friends" by the Fairy.Been there for the Fairy ever since.And he still is.Though now the Fairy don't go looking for him as much as she used to,she knows he can turn to him anytime.The closeness is still there,because each time the Fairy weeps,he knows.And with that,it is comfort enough for Her.
The Circus Clown-Marco.All fun,laughter,peace and joy is he.Even with his own toil,he lives to see the Fairy smile.He's not Jamaican,i think he's German.And he definitely makes the effort to show the Fairy that he is around for her.At the same time,the Fairy sees the hurt in Marco.Troubles of his own,the Fairy seeks to help him through them.To make the smile on his face a true one.
Looking at the people in her life,she knows she can go through all these.No matter the difficulty.What more with the strength of the One who knows all.Who can be against her if He is with her.Renewed,she puts back the smile on her face.And continues trying to dance again.
prancing to your tune
5:58 AM
Thursday, June 17, 2004
It's hard to pick up her dance again.Loneliness haunts.And it is scary how she feels moody.Lifeless.
She thinks about the Dark Knight.And stops.Ideal is he.But they never shared such luck.
She thinks about the Elf.What does she really feel for him?For sure it is far from what she feels for the Prince.Even the Dark Knight.And it seems that it doesn't matter anymore because the Elf himself seems to be moving away slowly.Maybe she should just let him go since her wings take her everywhere but to him.
The Fairy's tea-mates.Once who shared her laughter and tears.Who joined to dance together.All immersed in their own dance.Who can tell that the Fairy needs them?
The Prince.How can she get over him entirely?Ever.Nothing was wrong with the two of them.Then why does it have to be like this?And why is she still questioning such.Haven't she been coping well all these time?Guess this is surprising herself as well.She thought she had everything under control.She thought she was ready to dance again.
In defence of her faith,this love affair was sacrificed.For the One who knows all.And if she had to do this again,she'd make the same sacrifice.For the One who knows all is far too magnificent.Glory is what He deserves and glory is what the Fairy wants to give to Him.
Being lifeless doesn't give Him glory due.She really is trying to pick up her dance again.And the One who knows all will be her Help.Her Guide.Her Light.Her Truth.
prancing to your tune
5:19 AM
Friday, June 11, 2004
The dark knight entered the courts,riding on his dark steed.With his charm,he brought the Fairy back to a time she once knew.Probably the only other man she wanted,this was one man she never had.Or she almost had.Entering the room of the door that never closed,yet standing no further than 10 feet away from the door.Enough to slip out of the room in time.In time.In time to come also will they all know what would be of the Fairy.In time will the One Who knows all reveal all.
The dark knight rode away.Till the day he slips back into the room.
The Fairy puts on her shoes,picks up her dance again.
prancing to your tune
5:21 AM
Tuesday, June 01, 2004
Neither ecstatic nor depressed.
Almost nonchalant.
Unforced calmness it is.
Not out of peace.
But of complete emptying of all emotions-joy,grief and pain.
The Nothingness is making Her moody.
The Fairy is just watching the days pass her by.
Finding it difficult to beam as always.
She keeps a straight face.
No rhythm.
Losing Her dance.
prancing to your tune
4:11 PM
Lord of all creation
Of water, earth and sky
The heavens are your tabernacle
Glory to the Lord on high
God of wonders beyond our galaxy
You are Holy
The universe declares your majesty
You are holy
Early in the morning
I will celebrate the light
And when i stumble in the darkness
I will call Your Name by night
Hallelujah to the Lord of heaven and earth
My Comfort,my Strength.My Jesus.My Lord.To Him all praise is due.
prancing to your tune
2:34 AM
